Don't Make Resolutions. Ask Questions

A new way to start the New Year

Photo by Viridiana Rivera

I’ve never been much of resolution guy. Oh, I’ve made a few and broken as many. Some have stuck. Most not. I’ve written about resolutions at The Abundance before and my take on them. But every year when the end of December comes, I still think about what the days ahead can bring, about this new blank slate before me. Although, not fully blank, as we carry much of what has been our past with us to the future. It’s inevitable.

So, if you’re not going to make resolutions, what do you do?

You ask questions.

I’ve considered this idea for over a month now, rummaging around in my brain for good questions, insightful questions. I’ve looked online for ideas. I’ve returned to books and songs I’ve loved over the years that suggest contemplation. And with all of this, I’ve gathered ten questions I think would be a thoughtful way to begin 2025. The key is to be honest with your answers, to answer them out loud, even write them down so you can take a look in a few weeks when that resolution you didn’t make is imaginarily broken.

Here are my ten along with quick thoughts on the possible answers.

1. What was the single best thing that happened to you this past year?

   Do not pick winning the lottery. Too easy. Do not pick that Disney World vacation cruise. Go deeper.

2. What was an unexpected obstacle?

   Be honest. It wasn’t just finances. Most of us struggle with that in some way or another every year. Consider relationships. Growth. Spirituality.

3. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of 2024?

   Remember, this question asks for personal change. It can be a good change or bad one.

4. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

   I love this question because the answer should open up possibilities for new adventures, new habits, better use of time.

5. If 2025 would be your dream year, what would happen?

   Again, don’t pick winning the lottery. Too easy. Go deeper.

6. What is the one thing you will say NO to this year?

   This might be my favorite question. It really does help you sort priorities and focus on what truly matters.

7. What is the one thing you will say YES to?

   This question is all about change. It reminds one of the typical, traditional resolution, but yet it puts a new, more important spin on it.

8. What kind of footprint will you make in 2025? (Question from poet De’la Kora)

   Think about this as if 2025 would be your last year on Earth. What would you wish most to leave behind?

9. What do you need to say or do that would make the coming year complete for you?

   Remember it is asking for action—what you will say or do.

10. How will you hold yourself accountable for all that you wish for in 2025?

    What an important question because the other nine mean nothing if you can’t get a handle on this one.

There’s a great history to the New Year’s resolution. Recent studies show we have been failing at them for centuries. The Babylonians celebrated a new year for several weeks, and yes, they made resolutions. Most were simple and attainable. Things like paying off a debt or being kind to your neighbor.

The Romans also made resolutions in the New Year. Julius Caesar in 46 B.C. created a new calendar that started the New Year on the first day of January, the month named for the Roman god Janus, whose two faces look both forward and back—a symbol of taking stock of the past and preparing for the future.

But despite the history and the tradition, there’s little evidence that proves we take our resolutions seriously long enough to keep them and to make a clear and viable change or shift in our thinking or behavior. What’s that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over with the same woeful results.

It’s time to think differently. Ask questions instead.

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David W. Berner is the author of several books of award-winning fiction and memoir. His latest, Daylight Saving Time: The power of growing older is available now. His novella, American Moon will be published by Regal House Publishing in 2026.